Thanks For the Advice Dad

Dads give great advice, sometimes kids even listen. Here are some good ones from some great dads. Happy Fathers Day to all the dads out there!
Rule number one, “Protect your junk, son.” (draw your own conclusions on this one)
When I was young, my dad kept iodine in the medicine cabinet for first aid. We hated the stuff because it burned so badly. My dad always reassured us that no this wasn’t the kind that burned. It did burn, but we fell for that line every time. He always blew on the iodine to lesson the pain and kissed the boo-boos so we felt better.
My father-in-law told my hubby this one before we met. He married me anyway, so I’ll take this one as a compliment, “Kid, if you want to know what you’ll end up with, look at her mom.”
My dad told me this one, “Guys are simpler then you think.”
In addition, the second half, “Guys think about only three things, sex, food and sleep.”
This is from all the sports dads out there, “Walk it off son.”
Max’s wisdom when the kids complain about taking icky medicine, “If it tastes good, it isn’t working.”
My father-in-law told my hubby this one and it’s so true. “You can wear my shoes son, but you’ll never fill them.”
“Don’t wait for the idiot light to come on, take care of your vehicle.” (With my dad it isn’t a car, it’s a ve-hicle.)
Who hasn’t heard this one? “Don’t spend it all in one place.”
“Be polite to her parents and don’t bring her home late.” (This is the one no one seems to listen to or remember.)
I think this one is from an interview with Bruce Wills. He was talking about his daughters dating. “Kill the first boyfriend and hope word gets out.”
Max is planning to use this one when Tess brings home her first boyfriend. When the boy comes to our house to pick her up Max will be cleaning his guns. He’ll calmly ask the boy, “So what time are you thinking about bringing her home?” (With three older brothers, I can imagine a row of guys cleaning their guns. Poor girl will never get a second date.)