Friday, June 12, 2009

Home Barber Shop

Home haircuts seemed like such a great way to save money. There are six of us in the family, quarterly barber visits for the boys, and Max really adds up. I had a brilliant idea: what if I cut everyone’s hair. How hard could it be? I checked out a couple of “How to cut your family’s hair” books from the library and read up on how to give my family great haircuts. I had the best of intentions. Well, you’ve heard about the road to Hell being paved in good intentions. My poor family. I cut their hair. The books made it look so easy, I foolishly bought that promise.
The first time I cut Max’s hair I was shaking, I was so nervous. He kept reassuring me, “If you make a mistake, its ok, it will grow back. I’ll wear a hat for the next month if I have to.” He laughed and added, “just try it out on me first before you cut the kids hair.” Max’s haircut wasn’t as bad as I worried it would be, it turned out ok, except for the bald patches in his sideburns (which honestly, he couldn’t even see).
My youngest son Tom was the next guinea pig. I cut his hair too short and a patch of scalp showed behind his ear (which if anyone asked, I blamed on his little sister and her gum). The older two boy’s hair turned out ok, I was actually getting better. Then came my three-year-old daughter Tess. She had long beautiful wavy strawberry blond hair that only needed the bangs trimmed, so that trim went ok.
The next day Tess decided she liked playing barbershop and cutting hair— just like mommy. She cut her own hair off just below her ears. The long lovely curly locks— gone. I had to finish what she started and Tess got a short pixie cut. I learned you can only try to fix un-even bangs so many times before there just nothing left to trim. Tess had short un-even Madonna bangs to go with her short pixie haircut. I mourned the loss of her long hair, until I found an old picture of my grandma when she was a toddler. She had a short pixie cut also, and I realized my daughter looks like her great-grandma. I smiled and forgot all about the long hair Tess had cut off. Now I like the short hair on her and keep it trimmed.
I have to admit it was a rough start to my family barbershop, but I’ve gotten better. Practice has helped and I’m proud to say I now give a mean haircut.

6 comments:

Unknown said...

How much do you charge for non-family members? Or at this point, would I get the family discount?

momofcrazykids said...

You KNOW things about me, so to buy your silence, I'll give you the family discount. Oh, and I can do something about that beard...

Unknown said...

*Huffs with righteous indignation* What the hell is wrong with my beard? Your potential tip just got significantly smaller...

momofcrazykids said...

Nothing is wrong with your wonderful bushy beard. Do you get funny looks on airplanes?

Unknown said...

Maybe that explains why I got that full body cavity search at the airport....You might be on to something there.

momofcrazykids said...

I'm just saying...