The Meanest Mom Award Goes To...

OK, so I guess I have won an award before. I'm the winner of the "Meanest Mom Ever Award." I hear this phrase often from my youngest 2 kids (they are 4 & 6 ) What!? No freeze pops before dinner? Why can't I wear my leotard outside in November? But I want to wear sandals to school! I could go on and on. My sister has the other award, you might have heard of it, the "You're So Mean Award" I guess my kids are just lucky to have an award winning mom.

I got the oil changed on my minivan yesterday. The dealership gave me (and I'm not kidding about this) a "fitness inspection and treatment plan" handout for my van. I didn't even realize my van was sick. Good thing they have a treatment plans available!

Happy Thanksgiving!

OK, I know it's 2 days AFTER Thanksgiving, but Happy Thanksgiving to all. I hope everyone had an enjoyable time with friends and family. No injuries to report this year at our celebration. We had an unfortunate turkey baster incident several years ago. The bulb of my turkey baser went missing (I suspect that it made it's way into the bottom of the toy box) Not wanting to use jar gravy my mom decided to use it anyway. Let's just say that mouth suction was not a good idea. Funny now, yes. Funny then, well, kinda. Sorry mom. I know 2rd degree burns in one's mouth is not a laughing matter. But, it has become the stuff of legends and countless jokes. Not sure what to get a family member for a Christmas gift? Turkey baster! (Or a nose hair clipper-scissors up one's nose was also not a good idea) Both are always good for a laugh and a replay of all the gory details and injuries. Yes my family is strange, but in a good, humorous clannish way. We love our stories and inside jokes. For Christmas we play a dice game to get dollar items, and re-gift tacky gifts, it's a lot of fun and always interesting. Every year we re-wrap a sealed deli pickle and re-gift it. I think the pickle is 4 years old now and starting to get mushy. Weird, yes. Funny, you bet ya!

As I sit here on the computer, I keep having to stop and pull things out of the dogs mouth. Toys, mittens, socks-where is she finding all these socks? Our dog, Bertha is a Newfoundland-Black Lab mix (a sweet but annoying butt-head today). She has enough Black Labrador in her to feel the need to carry things (anything will do) around ALL the time. It's enough to even try St. Francis' patience. An oral fixation at it's worst. I keep waiting for that particular trait to mellow, the hyper running around the table has finally stopped, now if the carrying & chewing thing could just stop! But I really do love the crotch sniffing, mitten chewing, shaggy butt-head.

My Poor Little Tom...

My poor little Tom. Tom is in 1st grade and on Wednesday he got into trouble at school for talking. His teacher told him he "owed her 1 minute after school." What he was suppose to do was stand behind his desk for 1 minute after school, and then he could go catch his bus. School got over at 2:45, at 3:10 a teacher walked by his class room and saw him still standing there behind his desk. (pause for a well deserved "Ah poorTom") The office called me and I had to go and pick him up at school. My poor baby stood behind his desk for 25 minutes (with a full bladder) waiting for the teacher to come back and tell him he could go. He knew he had missed the bus, and was worried he would not only be in trouble for talking, but also for missing his bus. On top of everything else, he was scared to call home for a ride. On his teachers defense, she did call and leave a message apologizing for not making sure he caught his bus. I think he now has a "get out of jail free card" from her for the rest of the year. My poor little Tom.

Winter Camping

I get to go winter camping in Ely, MN in Jan! I'm so excited. Why would anyone in their right mind want to go camping in the winter? No bugs, tons of snow and the silence-it's amazing. I'm going with Oscar's Cub Scout Den and Leif's Boy Scout Troop to the Boy Scout high adventure base in Ely. There are only 3 high adventure bases in the US; Philmont in New Mexico, Sea Base in Florida and Northern Tier in Minnesota. This is the first year they have opened the winter program up to Webelo Cub Scouts, we'll be one of the first groups to go. Sleeping under the stars in the winter is really something, the stars seem so much brighter, the night quieter. I'll post pictures of last years trip when I find them.

They Grow Up So Fast...

I got the new People Magazine's Sexist Men of 2008 (the scratch & sniff one-creepy idea on this issue, but I smelled anyway, does that make me weird?) I was looking at the issue when my 4 year old daughter Tess came up and looking over my shoulder at the picture of Brad Pitt said, "He's handsome. I want to marry him." When I asked about Daniel Craig on the next page she said, "Not him, he's scary" Well, I guess she's got it all planned.

Oscar has written his first book. It's called, "The Kracken Infection" I'm so proud to have influenced him. I'll post his book after it's finished. It's about a boy named Andrex, who's fighting zombies like creatures, it's gory and very good. I think I'll look into kid writing contests for him who knows, how cool would that be if he won one?

Max & Robb went deer hunting again this last weekend, yea-ho, no deer. What would I do with 200 lbs of venison? I don't even like venison. Sorry to admit it, but I've been hoping they didn't get anything. Who says God doesn't answer your prayers?

Call Me Steve...

My son, Oscar went through a phase when he was 4 years old. He insisted we call him Steve. Then he wanted to be called Godzukka. Why would a 4 year old want to change his name? Who knows, maybe he was in a witness protection program, or was dodging an ex-wife. We did humor him and call him something different; the looks we got when out shopping and we had to call out "Godzukka, leave that alone!" Godzukka, now 10 years old, still changes is name once in a while. He started signing his homework "Os" not "Oscar" last month, my funny, funny boy.
My life is rich in humor and that is all that truly matters.

Snow Suit Ride

I'll just start by saying, I love winter, but jeez, it's cold. The kinda of damp cold that gets into your bones-burr. It's time to start putting the kids into snow suits; this time of year reminds me of a cute snow suit story.

This story happened when our niece Jo, was young. Her uncle Scott was giving her an airplane ride. The kind that involve holding a hand and foot and spinning around making the kids "fly". Kinda makes me feel dizzy just thinking about it.

Well, it was winter, Jo was wearing her snow suit and her uncle Scott was giving her an airplane ride. Can you see where this story is going? When the spinning had reached a dizzying speed, the snow suits snaps gave way, opening and Jo flew right out, leaving Scott holding the right mitten, right boot and an empty snow suit. Can you just imagine the look on both of their faces? Now there is a precious moment in the making. Ah, winter memories.

I've Never Won Before...

I just won the "Scareyest Toy Award" I'd like to thank all the little people who made this award possible...
My darling niece just turned 1 last month and we gave her a glow worm thingy-a sea horse that sings and glows when its touched. Well that sweet toy has terrified the child it was meant to delight.
It caused crying, possible nightmares, life long trauma and forced my sister to "Toss the damn thing down the hall way." Sorry Baby, maybe next year we'll get you a Chucky Doll. (Just kidding Sis)
My son also had an experience with one of these Glow Worm type toys. When Osacr was a baby he got a Veggie Tales glowing asparagus doll that sang, "lalalalalalala, lalalalalalalala, I'm not scared." the toy was adorable, very sad, but adorable. My older son, Leif-the tender heart, who was 4 years old at the time told me, " I don't like that toy, it hurts my heart" I guess it was too sad for him also.
I'm still waiting to get the award, will it be a trophy or just the bill from the kid's Shrink?

I Smell Poop

Few smells get your attention faster then poop, baby or puppy for that matter. When my toddler was small we had a puppy. There were simply too many babies running around. I'd be talking on the phone and the smell would hit me. Which one did it come from-baby or dog? A search mission would be required to pinpoint the source for clean up. If I asked my little one, "Are you poopy?" The answer would always be a sweet or offended "No." Asking the dog was pointless, she just wagged her tail at any attention, good or bad. Whoever I was talking to on the phone usually also proclaimed their innocence. Time has chanced the sources of the mysterious vapours that still occasionally linger. My little one is now potty trained, and the dog is house broken, but any phantom smell will still call for a search mission. Stinky teenagers or full garbage cans are now the suspects and the clean ups are far more pleasant. I'll never miss changing diapers or the smells that linger from the diaper pail.

That's My Girl

To say that my 4 year old daughter, Tess is a tomboy is an understatement. With three older brothers her sense of humor is already twisted. Last week her humor hit a new level. She stood with her feet apart and held a toy block behind her back. After much grunting, she dropped the block. It looked like she pooped the toy block. Her older brothers clapped and laughed. Her dad, Max, smiled and turned to me and said, "That's your daughter alright. She must get that from your side, my family doesn't think poop is funny." All I could say between chuckles was, "I'm so proud." I'll take all the credit, that's my girl.

My Little Romeo

I have three sons and one daughter. Leif is 14, Oscar is 10, Tom is 6, and Tess is 4. My youngest son Tom is my Little Romeo. Tom loves the ladies, especially older girls, and the 10 year old girls really dig him back. Last week at gymnastics (he's the only boy in a class of five 5-9 year old girls) an older girl kissed him. She wasn't just any girl, she's the sister of Oscar's best friend. Not only that, but she suppose to marry Oscar someday, not his little brother Tom. A love triangle in the making? Not yet at least, luckly Oscar isn't interested in girls yet, he's only 10. But Tom, I need to keep a close eye on him.

Here's a picture of my Little Romeo.

Notations From The Edge

Well, so it starts. Welcome to the modern age. My journey has a shaky start, what in the world am I doing, starting a blog? We'll see if I can continue. I am the master of Dabbling.

I plan on writing about my family (I have 4 of the funnest kids around) and other observations about life. Not much time today to write, kids have preschool. So bye for now.