Happy Valentine's Day From Me To You!

Happy Valentines's Day from me to you. Some families make heart shaped meatloaf, or give candy for Valentine's day, my family took pictures of ourselves and turned the pictures into zombies pictures. All to celebrate the beauty of that special day. I now know what I would look like as a zombie, and I have the proof that my family is just a little off...

The Escaping Swim Trunks

Last week my family did a weekend at a water park. February is a good month to visit a water park, it’s dreary out and everyone has cabin fever. The whole family went, Max, my hubby, who has a rule not to go swimming unless he’s on fire—was seen in swim trucks and having fun in the pool with Leif, my fourteen year old video game junky. Oscar, my as thin as a rail ten year old, Tom, the mischief maker, is six and sweet Tess is four. A good time was had by all, even though Oscar’s swim trunks almost got away.
I was floating on the “lazy river” on an inner tube with Oscar and he decided to slide off and float behind the inner tube. Just as he slipped off the raft, he looked up at me, his eyes got huge and he squeaked, “Mom…my swim trunks! Help, they’re being pulled off!” I looked over the side of the inner tube to check and sure enough, the strong current had pulled off his trunks and they were around his ankles and threatening to escape completely. I reached into the lazy river (which isn’t as lazy as the name suggests) grabbed him by the armpit and tried to pull him back up onto the inner tube while using my other arm to reach down and grab the escaping trunks and pull both boy and shorts back up and onto the inner tube. I had a difficult time helping him because both Oscar and I were laughing too hard. The struggle caused us to flip the inner tube over and we were dumped unceremoniously into the lazy river. We stood up (the water wasn’t very deep) fixed the situation with Oscars’s trunks and tied them tighter around his thin waist. Over all the mini vacation was fun, and defiantly a memorable trip.

Tube Snake Boogie

My van’s radio has a display that tells me the name of the song playing and who wrote it and I’ve just started to pay attention to the names of the songs and I’ve found something interesting. I’ve been singing songs wrong for years, especially ZZ Top. “Push”, is actually “Tush”, and “Two-Three Boogie” is actually “Tube Snake Boogie”. Well…that’s a totally different cogitation to the songs—much dirtier than my innocent and incorrect versions. I’ve come to the conclusion that ZZ Top are dirty old men, plain and simple. I’ve also started wondering what other songs am I singing wrong? Could “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” really be “Excuse me while I kiss the sky”? I must investigate this some more.

"He Farted On You? That Just Means He Likes You"

Last week Tess came home from school and complained about a boy in her kindergarten class farting on her. Yes, I said he farted on her. When Tess told us my hubby (God love him) commented to Tess, “That means he likes you Sweetie.” That was what I was thinking too, or that maybe she started it.
The story is cute so far but far from over. A couple of days later, a friend of mine who works in the school told me she overheard some kindergarten teachers talking about Tess and so she got in on the conversation to find out what they were saying. Tess’ teacher was horrified that a little boy in class backed up to Tess, parked his butt on her leg and farted on her in class. My friend’s reaction was beautiful. Laughing, she told the teachers, “Tess has three big brothers; she probably started it by farting on him first.”
Just another example of the joys of kids—they can keep you laughing.