Being a parent is a strange job. In what other job would your boss ask you to wipe their butt, puke on you or ask you to hold them in your lap. The hours are grueling, the boss demanding, and the pay is terrible. It's the perks that sell the job. It's the wet toddler kisses, sleepy warm snuggles and hugs from grumpy teens that make it all worth while. It's a job like no other, and I wouldn't trade it for the world.
Being a parent changes you. Be prepared, because it forever opens your heart. Hearing about sick children before I had kids was sad. Now I openly weep, and pull my children closer. I want and need to help, to offer comfort to those sick, hurt or hungry children. I dig deep and donate what I can, when I can, to those organizations that help children. Being a parent is like wearing your heart on your sleeve. You see the bigger picture and see that we all belong to each other. We are our brothers keepers.
Saturday, December 6, 2008
Friday, December 5, 2008
You'll Never Guess What I Found...
When Max & I were first married we bought a little house in a rough part of town. Being new home owners we were great about upkeep. Yard raked in the fall, any garbage that blew into the yard was picked up immediately, we did the sort of maintenance that was cheap and easy. One warm spring day I was picking up the yard. I was making a pile of downed branches, picking up garbage and raking the remainder of the leaves, when I found "something" under the bushed by the front door. It looked like a flat mummified turkey drum stick with fur. I stood looking at it for a couple of moments trying to identify what the hell it was. I picked it up with a newspaper and threw it away with the rest of the trash. Why on earth would someone put something like that by our front door? Was it the messy neighbors KFC remains, or something more sinister?
When Max got home from work that night, I couldn't wait to tell him about my grisly discovery.
"You'll never guess in a million years, what I found under the bushes by the front door today." I proudly told him.
"A mummified flat squirrel?" I was speechless, how in the world had he known...unless...
Max laughed, I was standing there, speechless, with my mouth hanging open.
"Cola Grandma gave it to me last fall, and I didn't know what to do with it. I left it under the bushes. I guess, I forgot all about it, till now. Gross huh?"
Max's Grandma had found it under her house and had thought he would have found it interesting. Strange thing to give one's grandson, if he were normal. But Max and his Cola Grandma were anything but normal. It was exactly the sort of gift she would have given him-and the sort of gift he would have loved. We still laugh about what a spring clean up might uncover, you just never know.
When Max got home from work that night, I couldn't wait to tell him about my grisly discovery.
"You'll never guess in a million years, what I found under the bushes by the front door today." I proudly told him.
"A mummified flat squirrel?" I was speechless, how in the world had he known...unless...
Max laughed, I was standing there, speechless, with my mouth hanging open.
"Cola Grandma gave it to me last fall, and I didn't know what to do with it. I left it under the bushes. I guess, I forgot all about it, till now. Gross huh?"
Max's Grandma had found it under her house and had thought he would have found it interesting. Strange thing to give one's grandson, if he were normal. But Max and his Cola Grandma were anything but normal. It was exactly the sort of gift she would have given him-and the sort of gift he would have loved. We still laugh about what a spring clean up might uncover, you just never know.
Thursday, December 4, 2008
Vomit Shower
Here is one of my essays, it's my favorite. Hope the subject doesn't gross you out too much, not everyone thinks puke is funny. (If you have a weak stomach, read something else from my other posts.) When things like this happen, what else can someone do besides laugh, going insane isn't always an option-a vacation, yes-but not a permanent solution.
“Vomit Shower”
It all started at 3 a.m. with a yell, “Mom, Oscar's is throwing up on me!” Never mind the coffee, I was instantly wide awake. I ran into the room my two oldest boys shared and surveyed the chaos. Yep, it was puke and it was everywhere. Oscar had been feeling under the weather and sometime during the night had known something was off. Not wanting to get sick on his own bed, he had leaned over the rail of the top bunk and had thrown up. His older brother Leif, in the bottom bunk, woke up to a hot vomit shower. Oscar just kept on hurling over Leif’s bed with Leif still in it. I don’t know which kid had the funnier look on his face— Oscar’s wide eyed look of guilt or Leif’s look of disbelief and shock. And then Oscar did it again. I just stood there, frozen. Finally springing to action, I ran for a bucket. After Oscar had the bucket in hand, I helped him down the slippery wet ladder and looked at his PJ’s. They were clean, not a drop on them. The same was true of his sheets and blankets. I shook my head in disbelief and sent him to the bathroom. I turned to Leif on the bottom bunk. I didn’t even know where to start.
“Just stand up, strip off your PJ’s and leave them here on the floor. Go take a shower and then come back here and help me clean up.” I threw in a please at the end when I saw the look on his face. Not only had he been thrown up on but now he had to help clean it up.
“It’s not fair,” he grumbled. I agreed. A beautiful dream about me and Brad Pitt on vacation in France was interrupted. But you didn’t hear me complaining. We stripped off the wet blankets, sheets and pillow cases. I wiped off the ladder and spot shampooed the carpet. We remade the bed and both boys finally went back to sleep. Oscar now sleeps with a bucket on his top bunk and Leif— he sleeps with one eye open. Waiting for next time.
“Vomit Shower”
It all started at 3 a.m. with a yell, “Mom, Oscar's is throwing up on me!” Never mind the coffee, I was instantly wide awake. I ran into the room my two oldest boys shared and surveyed the chaos. Yep, it was puke and it was everywhere. Oscar had been feeling under the weather and sometime during the night had known something was off. Not wanting to get sick on his own bed, he had leaned over the rail of the top bunk and had thrown up. His older brother Leif, in the bottom bunk, woke up to a hot vomit shower. Oscar just kept on hurling over Leif’s bed with Leif still in it. I don’t know which kid had the funnier look on his face— Oscar’s wide eyed look of guilt or Leif’s look of disbelief and shock. And then Oscar did it again. I just stood there, frozen. Finally springing to action, I ran for a bucket. After Oscar had the bucket in hand, I helped him down the slippery wet ladder and looked at his PJ’s. They were clean, not a drop on them. The same was true of his sheets and blankets. I shook my head in disbelief and sent him to the bathroom. I turned to Leif on the bottom bunk. I didn’t even know where to start.
“Just stand up, strip off your PJ’s and leave them here on the floor. Go take a shower and then come back here and help me clean up.” I threw in a please at the end when I saw the look on his face. Not only had he been thrown up on but now he had to help clean it up.
“It’s not fair,” he grumbled. I agreed. A beautiful dream about me and Brad Pitt on vacation in France was interrupted. But you didn’t hear me complaining. We stripped off the wet blankets, sheets and pillow cases. I wiped off the ladder and spot shampooed the carpet. We remade the bed and both boys finally went back to sleep. Oscar now sleeps with a bucket on his top bunk and Leif— he sleeps with one eye open. Waiting for next time.
Wednesday, December 3, 2008
Oh Christmas Tree
We have our Christmas tree up and I'm pleased to tell you that this is the first year in a long time that I have ornaments all over the tree (and not just from waist up). The dog isn't stealing off the tree and neither are the kids. My tree looks normal and it's kinda a sad mile stone. No more babies to pull the tree's ornaments off. I am still finding baby socks tucked away in strange places-behind the fridge, in the bottom of the toy box, or in the clean undie clothes basket. Maybe I need a puppy? Just kidding, kinda.
Whitewater rafting with The Boy Scouts-Wild Ride
I've taken the local Boy Scout Troop white water rafting a couple of times. I don't know who was more fun, the kids or the adults. I never have a hard time finding adults to go. The first time, I almost fell in a couple of times. The other adult in the raft caught me both times by my life jacket. Nothing like seeing water and the sky-upside down-to get your heart pumping. I was sore from neck to knees for a week. This last time I wisely sat in the middle of the raft and not the back. So WHEN I fell, I was safely still in the raft, and only sore for a day or so. The pictures turned out amazing. I hope the kids keep the pictures so they can show them off to their kids someday. I'm still showing mine off to anyone who will look.
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Silly Boy
Oscar, my second oldest son, is my silliest. He was a very serious baby; I don't think he smiled until he was almost 2. Now, he makes me smile everyday with his twisted humor. I think his humor has worn off the most on Tess(as the pooping a block story shows.) When Oscar was 3 he used to do this crab walk sideways thing. His Aunt Rachel would smile and ask to see it and he would do the sideways crab walk only for her. Aunt Rachel just "gets him" like few others do. His latest funny is that he'll say, "Wait for it, wait for it..." or my personal favorite, "I have an important message from the King" and then loudly fart. I never know what to expect with my kids, they keep me guessing and they keep life interesting.
Monday, December 1, 2008
Polar Bear Plunge with The Boy Scout Troop
It's time again for the annual Boy Scout Polar Bear Plunge. I sit here at my computer making up a pledge sheet for the Scouts. And yes, I intend to do the plunge with the Troop again this winter. Why? What on Earth could make a reasonably sane person jump into a freezing cold lake or river? I still don't have an answer for that. Just maybe I'm not a reasonably sane person after all. It is a great way to raise money for Boy Scout camp, and it gives a person bragging rights. Who else do you know that has done one, much less going on the third time? I will post pictures this year, and yes, I will be wearing "a shortie wet suit" again. I'm not wearing just a bathing suit in freezing cold water around a group of 12 year old boys. I may be crazy, but I'm not stupid. Any takers on pledging me $10.00 to jump into a freezing lake on Jan 1, 2009? Here are the pictures form Jan 2008.
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