Happy Valentine's Day From Me To You!

Happy Valentines's Day from me to you. Some families make heart shaped meatloaf, or give candy for Valentine's day, my family took pictures of ourselves and turned the pictures into zombies pictures. All to celebrate the beauty of that special day. I now know what I would look like as a zombie, and I have the proof that my family is just a little off...

The Escaping Swim Trunks

Last week my family did a weekend at a water park. February is a good month to visit a water park, it’s dreary out and everyone has cabin fever. The whole family went, Max, my hubby, who has a rule not to go swimming unless he’s on fire—was seen in swim trucks and having fun in the pool with Leif, my fourteen year old video game junky. Oscar, my as thin as a rail ten year old, Tom, the mischief maker, is six and sweet Tess is four. A good time was had by all, even though Oscar’s swim trunks almost got away.
I was floating on the “lazy river” on an inner tube with Oscar and he decided to slide off and float behind the inner tube. Just as he slipped off the raft, he looked up at me, his eyes got huge and he squeaked, “Mom…my swim trunks! Help, they’re being pulled off!” I looked over the side of the inner tube to check and sure enough, the strong current had pulled off his trunks and they were around his ankles and threatening to escape completely. I reached into the lazy river (which isn’t as lazy as the name suggests) grabbed him by the armpit and tried to pull him back up onto the inner tube while using my other arm to reach down and grab the escaping trunks and pull both boy and shorts back up and onto the inner tube. I had a difficult time helping him because both Oscar and I were laughing too hard. The struggle caused us to flip the inner tube over and we were dumped unceremoniously into the lazy river. We stood up (the water wasn’t very deep) fixed the situation with Oscars’s trunks and tied them tighter around his thin waist. Over all the mini vacation was fun, and defiantly a memorable trip.

Tube Snake Boogie

My van’s radio has a display that tells me the name of the song playing and who wrote it and I’ve just started to pay attention to the names of the songs and I’ve found something interesting. I’ve been singing songs wrong for years, especially ZZ Top. “Push”, is actually “Tush”, and “Two-Three Boogie” is actually “Tube Snake Boogie”. Well…that’s a totally different cogitation to the songs—much dirtier than my innocent and incorrect versions. I’ve come to the conclusion that ZZ Top are dirty old men, plain and simple. I’ve also started wondering what other songs am I singing wrong? Could “Excuse me while I kiss this guy” really be “Excuse me while I kiss the sky”? I must investigate this some more.

"He Farted On You? That Just Means He Likes You"

Last week Tess came home from school and complained about a boy in her kindergarten class farting on her. Yes, I said he farted on her. When Tess told us my hubby (God love him) commented to Tess, “That means he likes you Sweetie.” That was what I was thinking too, or that maybe she started it.
The story is cute so far but far from over. A couple of days later, a friend of mine who works in the school told me she overheard some kindergarten teachers talking about Tess and so she got in on the conversation to find out what they were saying. Tess’ teacher was horrified that a little boy in class backed up to Tess, parked his butt on her leg and farted on her in class. My friend’s reaction was beautiful. Laughing, she told the teachers, “Tess has three big brothers; she probably started it by farting on him first.”
Just another example of the joys of kids—they can keep you laughing.

Yes, I'm Still Alive, Just Been Busy

Heeellllooo out there! I'm sorry I've been too busy to write. I was in Italy for a couple of weeks, and then with working and taking classes...Let's just say I've been getting the sleep of the righteous.
I do have a couple of thoughts on cab drivers in Rome. The lines in the road are just a suggestion, take then or leave them. Our cab drivers drove where ever they wanted even straddling the lines and driving into oncoming traffic. One driver jumped the curb and went over the sidewalk all to avoid traffic. When asked if the driver ever hit anyone he said, "Si, si, si, I kilta twoa." Yes, he meant he hit and killed two pedestrians. Another driver talked on her cell phone with one hand, held her cigarette with the other and gestured madly with both hands all while swerving through traffic. Just an added bonus to the excitement of foreign travel.

Fear Me, The Bowling Wizard

For my 40th birthday last night we went bowling. Much fun was had, many glasses of wine were drunk. The bowling pins had nothing to fear from me. Strangle to say, but having a couple of glasses of wine didn’t improve my game, who knew? I bowled a solid 35. I could say that it was because I was tipsy, but that would be a lie. I was bowling worse then usual but not that much worse. When I’m playing a good game, I can break 100, last night I broke 55—once. Even though I suck at knocking down the pins, I still had a blast. My bowling bliss far out weights my bowling skill.
It was great to see my friends too; I’m sure they enjoyed watching me and my mad skills on the lanes.
After all that drinking and pin smashing last night, this morning I felt a little nauseous and sluggish (a.k.a. hung over). What a way to celebrate the big 4-0, wine and bowling. I’m class all the way.

Where Are The Ark Kits?

I'm thinking of building an ark. It's been raining for the last couple of days or so; my drive way and yard are flooded and the kids are antsy from being indoors for so long. I wonder if Menard’s carries a kit to build your own ark. Maybe in the recreation area by the boating supplies or maybe by the swing sets.
"Excuse me sir, where are the ark kits? You know ark, as in Noah's ark."